This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
