ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
