At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
