Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
