So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
