my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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