Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
