As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize