i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
