you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
