What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize