i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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