I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
