Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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