The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize