I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
