CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize