tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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