were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
