I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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