My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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