so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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