I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
