Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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