five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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