those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize