We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize