So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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