we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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