I need help removing her.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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