so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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