girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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