i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize