She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
