i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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