I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
