I hate your face
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
