Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize