And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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