And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
