I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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