I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
