Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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