He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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