we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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