This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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