Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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