I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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