the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
