mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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