we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
