:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need moral support for this bender
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
