It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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