last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
