Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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