bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
